So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
