yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
