That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
