I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
