32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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