JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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