Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
