Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
