Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
