Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All the doctor said was why
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
