hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
