Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
