i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
