I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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