Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
