I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
