then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
