ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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