he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
