Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
