Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
