How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
