where does the pee come out of this thing
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
