Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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