dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
