Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
