We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
