Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
