Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
