Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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