you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
