if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
