Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
