Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
