dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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