I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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