i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
