I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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