I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
