what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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