I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
