It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
