You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
