Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
