Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
fuck your aforementioned shoe
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
