awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
