if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
