Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
