would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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