It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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