would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
