He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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