I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
