Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
