she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
a search helicopter?!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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